"My
teen has run away, what do I do?” is a question
I hear frequently from parents beside themselves
with both worry and frustration. The majority
of runaways are Caucasian and from middle to upper
income families. Approximately 2 million teens
between the age of 13 to 17 run away from home
each year.
When a youth runs away, the impact is felt throughout
the entire community. Teens leave home for a wide
variety of reasons, including trouble in school,
arguments with their family, problems that arise
due to their sexual orientation, and the influence
of predators.
The most common reason that teenagers runaway
is family resistance over such issues as curfew,
truancy, behavior, dress code, academic performance,
and the teen's choice of friends. Children also
may choose to run away because of problems they
are afraid to face such as harassment at school,
pregnancy, sexual orientation or alcohol and drug
problems. Some kids may also choose life on the
street as opposed to continued living in a seriously
abusive environment.
Teenager runaways, and return within 48 hours
to two-three weeks and usually move from one friend's
house to another. There are those, however, who
go further and stay longer. If they take to the
streets, the longer they stay, the more dangerous
the situation becomes.
The numbers of Situational Runaways teens are
the largest in compression of young people who
leave home for a day or a week. Although they
may be seen in runaway shelters or spend a brief
time on the street, they usually return home within
a few day. A small percentage may repeat this
behavior and remain away for longer periods. If
so, they become a part of the chronic runaway
group.
Tips for Parents
Spend time with your children and teens.
Spend time with your children, busy in activities
that suit their interests. Shared experiences,
Eat together as you can because a meal is a great
opportunity to chat about the day’s events
and to grow closer with your family. Use time
for talk, not confrontation. Read, watch TV or
movies, and surf the Internet with the teens.
Support your teens
Support your teenagers to get concerned in fun,
secure, pleasing activities. Facilitate your kids
to recognize their strengths, talents, and interests
and to find opportunities in which these properties
can be developed. Support them to volunteer in
the community, join a youth group, or participate
in arts or sports. It will give them a sense of
accomplishment, connect them to positive peers
and adult leaders, and – not least of all
– keep them busy.
Help teens to gain self-confidence.
Self-confidence is earned, not given. Give kids
opportunities to learn skills and gain confidence.
Present praise for jobs well done, emphasize the
positive, and give emphasis to the things your
kids do right. If they fall tiny, advise ways
to grow; don’t criticize. Affection and
respect will support good behavior (and change
bad) far more successfully than fear or embarrassment.
Cook up some fun
Everyone loves homemade cookies. Make your own
cake or pizzas. Tacos can be a team-building activity.
Someone chops, someone stirs, someone bakes, and
everyone eats. Use the time to teach a new skill
and catch up on what’s going on in each
other’s lives.
Laugh
Rent some childish, slapstick movie. Borrow a
karaoke machine. Crank up the music and teach
your teenager dance steps of your generation.
Hold a contest to share your lamest jokes. You
can’t be mad at each other if you’re
too busy laughing!
Pay Attention to Your Teens
Listen when your kids are talking with you. Don’t
just move up and down your head while you’re
watching television, reading the paper, or using
your computer. Don’t just make believe to
listen to them, because kids know the difference.
Give Respect
Recognize and support your teen’s struggle
to grow to adulthood.
Understand your teenager or try to understand
with what your children are going through. Look
at life, at least occasionally from their (Teens)
point of view. Remember that when you were their
age, your idea seemed to make sense to you.
Don’t Lecture, because everyone hates to
be lectured, especially teens. We all respond
more favorably to clear information.
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